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Topic Name: Basic Knowledge (Part
I) of Sex
Writer: Dr. Amrit Rao (AIIMS, India)
basic Knowledge-I
Facts about masturbation
Recent Study of by the noted Hormone &
Sex Specialist, Shere Hite reported, only one percent of
7239 men who answered his questionnaire did not
masturbate. The effects of masturbation can be discussed
under three heads (1) Physical; (2) Mental and
Emotional; and (3) Sexual adjustment.
Physical Effects:
The physical effects of masturbation are not different
from those of natural sexual intercourse. But means no
physical weakness occurs due to masturbation as from
natural semen discharge during sex..
mental and emotional:
Masturbation by itself is harmless and produces no
sexual ill-effects, if the boy is properly educated on
sexual matters. It is a sexual safety valve which
reduces tension when a female partner is not available.
On the other hand, if the boy is told not to masturbate
or that Masturbation is sinful or that a little
self-abuse is good but more is harmful, it may result in
emotional instability and impotence in later life due to
damage to sex centre & hormone disorder.
Sexual Adjustments:
Man is primarily meant to have a heterogeneous sexual
outlet. It is necessary for him to merge his ego with
the ego of his loved one for proper establishment of a
'we relationship'. Because opportunities for sex between
unmarried men and women are not readily available in
modern civilization, masturbation is invariably
practiced.
The Individual:
A boy who masturbate does so secretly and is ashamed to
admit it to his doctor. he therefore consults his
physician for some other complaint like forgetfulness,
headache, dizziness, palpitation, sweating or
sleeplessness. It is then up to the doctor to tactfully
elicit the history of masturbation and assure the poor
freighted boy that it is normal for most young men, and
does not harm physically, sexually or emotionally. It
should be explained to him that medical studies have
conclusively proven that boys who masturbate do not have
difficulties in marriage, if they have been properly
briefed, and are perfectly normal individuals. On the
contrary, boys who have abstained from masturbation out
of fear or on the advice of their parents or teachers
have been found to be emotionally unstable. Apart from
organic diseases. He should be reassured that
masturbation does not lead to impotence-but that the
guilt feeling which accompany it may do so.
A large number of young men suffer from
an inferiority complex and fear of impotence, and are
afraid to risk a sexual situation with a woman. An
innate shyness prevents their switching over from
masturbation to normal intercourse.
To conclude, masturbation is
self-stimulation of the genital organs. It is a
perfectly normal sexual outlet during adolescence before
intercourse with a woman is possible and has no
physical, mental or emotional ill-effect.
Fear of Harmful effects of
masturbation : Most boys and
adolescents have practices masturbation as a natural
sexual outlet, where coitus with a female partner is not
possible before marriage. All authorities on sex are now
agreed that masturbation is not harmful, but it
invariably produces a sense of guilt. In many school,
the young minds of boys are frightened by threats about
the so-called harmful effects, with the result that
every time the boy masturbates he suggests to himself
that he will be impotent in heterosexual contact.
These powerful suggestions actively
result in impotency. The impotency in these cases is
entirely sex centre disorder and has nothing to do with
masturbation. A twenty-three-year-old adult consulted us
for his inability to perform the sex act after marriage.
He was most worried that he was impotent and life for
him was not worth living. He used to masturbate once or
twice a week since the age of fourteen and was firmly
convinced that his present plight was entirely due to
this harmful practice. he had become such a slave that
he could not give it up in spite of every effort. Time
and again he willed and next hour he has masturbated,
thus producing tremendous depression. We reassured him
that most young men masturbate and that there was
nothing to worry about. It is fear about the harmful
effects of masturbation which produces impotency. He
wanted a magic pill which would produce an erection, and
was most disappointed when we pointed out to him that
once he is convinced that masturbation leads to no
harmful effects, his normal potency will soon return.
he left most disappointed but telephoned four days later
to say that he had been successful in sex.
Dhat (Phosphaturia)
: This is a condition where cloudy urine
is passed and where patients observe white sticky
secretion resembling semen at the end of urination, due
to the presence of phosphate. Phosphaturia is very
common in the tropics, where the vast majority of the
population lives on a vegetarian diet. Phosphaturia is
often mistaken by laymen and even medical students for
spermatorrhoea, because of the white, cloudy appearance
of the urine in both conditions. If the cloudiness of
the urine is due to phosphaturia, a few drops of
hydrochloric acid clarifies the urine immediately, thus
distinguishing it from spermatorrhoea. A vegetarian
medical student, nineteen years old, consulted us for
loss of semen, lack of energy and very poor erections.
he had been passing white cloudy urine for the last
year. every time he urinated he collected the urine in a
glass and was alarmed. But the few drops of hydrochloric
acid were put in the cloudy specimen and it cleared up
immediately.
Fear of Harmful Effects of Night
emissions : It is popularly
believed that hundred drops of blood needed to make one
drop of semen. Like gold, silver and diamonds, semen is
considered to be the body's most precious fluid and
frequent loss of it -quite wrongly-thought to lead to
weak nerves, mental and physical exhaustion, and marked
impairment of intellect and thinking.
Like the fear of harmful effects of
masturbation, nocturnal emissions have no bearing on
potency. This is one of the normal semen outlet process
when there are not chances of heterosexual contact
during adolescence.
the size of the penis and testes
: Boys and young men are often worried
about the size of their penis and testicles. It is a
common practice in school dormitories and bathroom to
compare the size of one's penis and if it appears to be
on the smaller side it is a source of great worry to the
individual concerned, producing a sense of inferiority
and shame. This is based on the fallacy that the larger
the penis the more effective is the male during
intercourse. master and Johnson have shown that the
length of the penis has nothing to do with sexual
adequacy. Even a small penis is very effective, because
of the involuntary accommodative power of the vagina
during intercourse.
One Study at A.I.I.M.S. showed
In India normal size of penis is 6 cm. to
15 cm. in erect state. But more than 90% have penile
size of 8 to 10 cm. Yes some people have 15 cm. or even
more but they are not normal but has abnormal size, It
does not give pleasure but instead displeasure to
female partner. So from today onward be relaxed if your
penile size is more than 8 cm. But remember there is no
value of penile size whatever it is in non-excited stage
whether is it 1 cm. or more. Even if it is dead like or
limp, don't worry. Because only work of a non-excited
penis is to urinate. Penis is made of spring like
structure. A penis which look long in an excited stage
does not expands more on execution so don't worry for
smaller looking penis.
What is the average length of a penis?
I have been criticized at seminars for
not stating precisely the average length of the penis.
In a study 90% people have size of 8 cm to 10 cm but in
some happens to be 15 centimeters or more also. But
remember flaccid penis what ever sees it has, small,
thin or dead like flesh you should not worry it size of
your erect organ is more than 8 cm.
Doctor, is my penis too small to
stimulate a woman to orgasm? My friend, whom I saw in
the toilet, is long and thick.
Firstly, you normally see you penis from
above, while you observed friend's sideways, which
always makes it appear longer, Stand sideways in front
of the mirror and you won't notice much differences
between your friend's and your own penis. Secondly,
great variations in penile length occur only a penis
which looks larger in flaccid stage enlarges 50% percent
whilst a small penis can expand 100 percent on erection.
The size in erection of most penises is almost the same.
thirdly, the upper two-thirds of the female vaginal
barrel is insensitive to touches only the lower one
third (5 cm.) is sensitive because it has touch fibers.
If, say, the distended vagina during intercourse is 10
centimeters long your partner can only feel and enjoy
the penis in the lower 5 centimeters, that is, the lower
half portion that is sensitive. IF your penis just over
5 centimeters long, which is the minimum length
necessary to satisfy a woman sexually? So if any body
penis is bigger than 5 cm on erection he shall fully
satisfy any women. It does not matter how small, flaccid
it look when it is loose because only work of loose
penis is to urinate.
What happens if a male has an unduly
long penis, say 15 centimeters?
As Amitabh Bachchan is not normal - He is
abnormally tall same way less than 0.5% people have
penile size of 15 cm. or more. First and foremost, woman
do not enjoy long ramrods. They are uncomfortable and
can often be painful. Although a long penis may be a
great ego-booster to its owner, about 5 centimeters of
it remains outside, the next 5 centimeters are gripped
by the outer one-third of the sensitive vaginal wall and
the remaining half penetrates the insensitive area of
the vagina-not a good experience for a male. However,
there are few woman who believe that a large penis is
more stimulating and exciting. This may be due to their
previous sexual conditioning, or belief on the sex. For
the vast majority of women, the length of the penis is
unimportant, though it remains the most prized part of
the anatomy for a male. Women like caring and loving
attitude of partner & gentle handling of them.
What do I do about my small testes?
Like the size of your penis, the size of
the testes does not matter as long as they produce the
male hormone testosterone in sufficient quantities. The
testes is the glands responsible for your manliness.
Why does my scrotum hang loosely?
The position of the scrotum and the
testes is determined by a muscle called the cremator.
When you are anxious, tense and worried and during the
hot whether, the scrotum seem to hang loosely. But in
cold whether or when you are aroused, the muscle
contracts and draws up the testes. The state of the
muscle-loose or tight- does not determine your erection
or potency. It does not matter for sex whether it is
loose or tight or small or big.
Are large veins on my penis a sign of
out coming impotence?
You have never complained so far about
the prominent veins on your forearms or legs. Actually,
it is better to have large blood vessels in the penis
for a prompt erection, rather than narrow ones. These
are blood vessels which carry blood too & from penis to
heart. As we have vein on forearm are normal. It is not
abnormal & does not lead to any sex problems.
Is masturbation harmful ?
Certainly not. We have enough evidence to
show that masturbation is not harmful?
How many times can one masturbate
safely ?
There is no upper limit; for instance up
to seven times in twenty four hours is safe according to
medical science if you eat well balanced diet. Formerly
the same kind of thing used to be said about sexual
intercourse-an upper limit per week was prescribed. Just
as you can indulge in as much sex as sex horse-power
permits you, similarly there is not limit to number of
times you can masturbate.
Why do I feel guilty after
masturbating ?
A large number of people cannot help
their guilt because for generation masturbation was
considered to be harmful and many religions have lent
their support of this view. It takes a long time to
overcome such cultural dogmas.
Will masturbation make me impotent ?
Certainly not. It is, on the contrary,
healthy in certain circumstances. It provides an
escape-valve when the pressure of the sex instinct is
unendurable and sex with a partner is not possible.
Are night discharges (Night Falls)
harmful? What is their normal frequency ?
Night discharges are physiological and
completely harmless. They usually occur during an erotic
dream. Their is no harm from 'wet' dreams. They occur
when sex with partner is not possible. It is not harmful
even if it occurs daily.
Why do I pass semen (Dhat) every time
I urinate?
The whitish discharge in your urine at
time of passing stool or other time is not semen but
phosphate crystals & Prostates secretion which come as
when person strains during passing stool or urination.
This condition, called Phosphaturia, is absolutely
harmless. Take a sample of your urine to your doctor who
will examine it under a microscope which prove it has no
sperm. So remember whitish secretion in urine which is
passes in urine during defecation or urination is not
semen. It is harmless so stop worrying for it from now.
Why don't I have a rock-like erection
?
Your penis is created for penetrating the
soft vagina and not for drilling holes in a stone wall.
The penis is maximum hard at the age of 17 to 19, the
hardness gradually declines with age. Though a little
hardness is necessary for penetration, once you
penetrate and start giving jerks it becomes moa and
tight with maximum hardness reached at time of orgasm.
I am 42 years old and do not become
erect instantaneously as i used to when I was twenty. Is
this normal or abnormal ?
The erection response at the age of
twenty is instantaneous, but is gradually declines as we
grow older. In the forties it may take a few minutes and
in the mid-fifties your partner may have to caress you
initially to produce an erection. Do not panic and think
you have an erection problem. It is a normal
physiological change which takes place in most men.
Is it true that semen is the most
vital body fluid and that 100 drops of blood are needed
to manufacture one drop of semen?
Both statements are wrong. Semen, like
saliva or gastric juice or tears, is a body fluid.
Saliva and gastric juice are special secretions for
digesting food, while tears help to lubricate your eyes.
Semen is not more precious than all the other body
fluids, the only difference being that it contains
sperms, the male gametes for reproduction. So whatever
amount of semen you loose during sex, Night Fall or
Masturbation. It does not cause harm if you eat well and
if you not worry for it.
Is it true that a better erection will
result in better sex?
Good lovers are who know when, where and
how to use the lips, the tongue, the hand and the
over-rates penis to hold their partners spellbound. so
you should know the act of loving to satisfy the
partner.
Why are most men interested in only
penis-vagina intercourse and not any other form of sex?
'It is universally assumed-that what men
like/want from intercourse is their orgasm. ''However
what men want from intercourse is something else.' the
7239 men who answered her questionnaire stated that they
could easily obtain a more powerful orgasm through
masturbation than sexual intercourse. Orgasm was not
therefore the be-all and end-all during sex. What men
likes most was the close physical contact of wants, and,
last but not the least, the fact that the thrusting
erect penis confirms the male's masculinity.
How can I make my partner orgasmic during
penis-vagina intercourse? How do I know that my partner
is orgasmic during penis-vagina intercourse? Isn't it
very frustrating for her to go on and on without
release?
If your partner happens to be in the
lucky 30 per cent there is no problem; she can be
vaginally orgasmic and your penis will feel the
contractions. For the majority of women your best bet is
to stimulate her clitoraly and let her reach an orgasm,
if she so desires. You can then insert your erect organ
in the vagina and enjoy carefree sex with her. Secondly,
with the woman-on-top position you can have easy access
to her clitoris as she moves on your erect penis.
Thirdly, she can stimulate herself while you are on top
and thrusting; most women, are, however, reluctant to
stimulate themselves in front of the male partner.
It is very important for males to realize
that only 30% of women, according to the The Hite Report
on Sexuality, reach an orgasm during penis-vagina
intercourse-while the remaining vast majority (70 per
cent) can only be orgasmic during manual clitoral
stimulation. The penis, in the man-on-top position, does
not come into direct contact with the clitoral area
which triggers an orgasm in the female. Besides, the
clitoral stimulation orgasms are more intense and
localized while the vaginal ones are more diffuse and
less intense.
It is very difficult for most males to
find out whether their partner has had an or not,
especially when the penis does not feel the vaginal
contractions.
How long should normal intercourse
last?
One can never set time limit as it varies
from couple to couple, and according to the
psychological and environmental conditions conducive to
love-making at the time. However, the sex act should
last sufficiently long to provide sexual satisfaction to
both partners. Normally is should last between 2-10
minutes.
Isn't it more pleasurable the longer
it lasts ?
Men have a false notion that if they keep
on battering her partner for an hour or more, the
greater is her enjoyment. Lengthy intercourse is
distasteful and painful for most women, especially if
the vagina does not lubricate sufficiently.
How do I know whether my partner is
orgasmic during intercourse?
The easiest and surest way for the male
to find out is by asking her whether she had orgasm or
not. However, most males are reticent to ask; besides,
cultural conditioning has impressed on females that men
are not only sexually knowledgeable about themselves but
also their partner. Her invariable answer is to remain
mum or just say, 'Can't you tell,'
However, most men, as Sheer Hite rightly
points out, are searching for an orgasm in the wrong
lane. they have erroneously assumed over the years there
is something wrong either with them or their partner, if
she cannot reach an orgasm during penis-vagina
intercourse. Men all these years have been groping and
searching in the dark unfathomed caves of the vagina
whilst the clitoris is 'born to blush unseen and waste
its sweetness over the desert air'. The clitoris is the
master-key to unlock the secret of female orgasm.
Stimulate her clitoris the right way and enjoy the
thrill of her real orgasms, the way nature intended her
to explode orgasmically.
What is homosexuality? Is it a sexual
perversion ?
When a male prefers to make love to male
in preference to a female, he is said to be homosexual.
Homosexuality is wrongly condemned by society as a
perversion, and it is only recently that most societies
are beginning to accept, though very grudgingly, that
homosexuality is a normal variant of male sexuality.
Why is it during foreplay? I am
completely out of bounds of my partner below the
navel-that part of my anatomy just does not exist for
her?
Men invariably like their penis and
testes to be stimulated by their partners. However,
women have been subject to centuries of cultural
conditioning which has inhibited them to the point that
the male organ just did not exist at all for them-it was
not to be looked at, not to be touched and never to be
caresses.
Gradually, however, more and more women
have become aware that their hands and lips caressing
the male organ can generate waves of delight. The male
partner feels that his partner relishes him
totally-every inch of his anatomy and not just above the
belly button! See his love for you spring to action.
Except a very few who do wish their
partner s to caress their penis, the vast majority are
waiting impatiently, to stimulated. Do not think your
partner will consider you forward or a loose woman. On
the great clock of time there is only one word-now.
begin today. Don't wait for him to take your hand
there.
Helen Singer Kaplan and other have
reported a cure rate of over 60 percent in primary
impotence, excellent result with a cooperative partner
in secondary impotence, 98 percent success in case of
premature ejaculation, and 100 percent success in cases
of vaginistmus.
'Everything in this universe fails
sometime and my penis is not exception. I don't worry
myself to death on the days I can't function I frankly
tell my partner that I occasionally suffer from erective
failure but that I love her, that I find her very
attractive and that my failure has nothing to do with
her. I caress her, fondle her and bring her to a climax
manually, if she desires. We find it very fulfilling.'
Michael was born with a clean sexual
slate and normal capacity for potency. However, his
puritanical and kill joy parents indoctrinated in
Michael from infancy, 'Sex is dirty; sex is sinful. If
you want to be a great man have nothing to do with
women, keep away from them, 'Is it any wonder that
Michael's belief system about sexuality was distorted
from birth with negative self images that hampered
normal sexual functioning?
'Erection first occurs in the mind and
later in the penis. A spontaneous or natural feeling of
arousal sets the pace for sexual encounter.
The twentieth century has been nicknamed
the Stress Century. It is also the age of impotence and
premature ejaculation. Stress and anxiety are the
deadliest enemies of good sex. The new threats to man's
healthy sexuality are not from nature, but from the
technological monster man has created. Yet the power to
combat the sexual dysfunction to stress and anxiety are
within us all.
Q. What is the most common cause
of erectile dysfunction ?
A. An occasional episode of an
erectile failure, due to functional or situational
causes like fatigue, tension or pressure to respond and
perform, is a very common cause of erectile dysfunction.
this anxiety, if not relived leads to further failures.
Q. What is the single best test
for differentiating sex centre cause for impotence from
other cause impotence ?
A. If a man can get an erection of
adequate quality for a sufficient length of time in any
situation, as during night, watching movie or reading
book then the problem is largely due to sex centre cause
& easily curable..
Q. At times, just following an
erection or prior to ejaculation, a drop or two of a
sticky transparent fluid oozes out from the tip of the
penis. Is this
normal ?
A. Yes, in such situations, the fluid
which comes out is the secretion of Cowper's or
bulbo-urethral glands. When one encounters a sexual
situation, there is a secretion (akin to salivation in
response to getting tasty food) from the Cowper's or
bulbo-urethral glands which comes out. It has not
harmful effect whatever amount of it come so don't worry
for it. The come out for lubrication so that penetration
in vagina becomes easy. It is not semen so don't worry.
Q. How often should a couple have
sexual intercourse ?
A. A couple can have intercourse as
often as often it pleasure them. It is pleasure to be
shared between the partners and there is no need to keep
a tally. 'Frequent' or 'normal' depends upon the
individual couple. The best thing to do is to forget the
number's game and indulge as often as it is mutually
pleasurable and satisfying. What is important is the
quality and not the quantity.
Q. Is frequent intercourse
harmful?
A. Present medical knowledge
acknowledges the fact that as long as intercourse occurs
among accepting partners, the act itself is not harmful,
irrespective of its frequency.
Q. What one should do to get
maximum enjoyment in sex?
A. The most important thing is to
communicate to your partner your likes and dislikes.
Discuss what both of you like — foreplay, play
(intercourse) or after plat--- at times, this alone will
relieve a man and woman from pressure to perform.
What can I do about my small breasts?
Don't men like bosomy females?
Most women are hung-up about the size of
the breasts just as men are about the length of the
penis. There are many treatments like silicon grafting
for increasing bust size. But, small-breasted women can
respond just as well as their better-endowed sisters.
Small can be sexy (as it is actually the nipple which is
primarily involved in sexual stimulation. However, some
men-like some women who cherish long penis)-are thrilled
by a a' handful' of breast so it is wrong misconcept
that large breast women are sexually good. Breast size
does not have any effect on sexuality.
Is it normal for female to have an
orgasm every time she has sex ?
Orgasm for most women is a five-star
luxury not attainable every time she has sex. A woman on
the other hand is slow to respond, the orgasm depending
on her mood, the environment, atmosphere and adequate
sexual stimulation-a combination of factors not easily
achieved in the hurry and scurry of the twentieth
century. However, the doctor faces a dilemma in such
cases of lack of orgasm. Is the anorgasmia due to
pathological inhibition or is it a normal variant of
female sexuality? If the initial interview with the
couple does not reveal any sexual inhibition, anxieties
or guilt about sex, the doctor should reassure them that
the female partner's anorgasmia is a normal variant of
female sexuality. If, however, the couple persists that
the female partner must become orgasmic, the husband
could increase her sexual responsiveness by touching and
pleasuring the clitoris & genitalia..
What percentage of women reach an
orgasm during sex?
Dr. Alfred Kinsey, the pioneer researcher
in human sexual behavior, reported that 75 percent of
women in the sample survey had some orgasmic experience
by the end of the first year of married life, and 77
percent after ten years of married life, while one out
of ten never reached an orgasm at all. though
large-scale studies are not available in our country,
the proportion of anorgasmic women is much higher.
Should I always have orgasms during
intercourse?
Women are not very definite about their
feelings during penis-vagina intercourse. Some never
have orgasm during coitus but invariably have it during
masturbation.
When I do not reach orgasm, I feel
tense, irritated and have a congested feeling down
under. How do I relieve it?
You should stimulate yourself to orgasm
or, better still, you partner should manually or orally
stimulate you.
Is mouth stimulation of the penis
(fellatio) unhygienic? Do men usually like it?
First and foremost, fellatio is neither
unhygienic nor dirty with a man who pays attention to
personal cleanliness.
Is oral sex with a woman unhygienic?
Are the vulva and vagina full of germs? Do women like
it? Can it do any harm to the male?
Oral sex (cunnilingus) with a female
partner is perfectly hygienic, it is the advisable that
both partner should have bath before they indulge in
oral sex sex with one another.
Most women are stimulated to seventh
heaven by a genital kiss, the most close and intimate
expression of love between partners. It is also very
exciting and pleasurable for a man to see and feel, with
the lips, the torrential love and excitement of the
woman.
Cunnilingus is an extremely common love
practice in the west; The Hite Report on Male sexuality
reports 88 percent of males enjoyed cunnilingus with a
clean woman and 9 percent did not like it. In India,
however the art of cunnilingus is less common owing to
the inbuilt resistance of both partners.
Can a female partner reach her orgasm
with oral sex?
The female can
easily and quickly reach the most intense orgasm with
cunnilingus provided that the male stimulates her
clitoral region with his tongue. Many males just kiss
the vulva and vagina which, though very excitable and
pleasing, may not result in a climax.
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