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Asli Humor

AsliMasti
Selected AsliMasti Jokes


1)
Electricity: A call from ladies hostel at night to electricity office " we lost the power send your men"
" No Man here, Use Candles"


2)
Jock : I'm sorry to hear your factory was burnt down. What did you manufactures?
Dick : Fire extinguishers.

Billy : "The telephone 's ringing . Why don ' t you answer it?"
Milly : "Why should I? I don ' t know who 's calling."


3)

Bob: Don’t be afraid of my dog. You know the old proverb, “A barking dog never bites.”

Rich: Yes, you know the proverb, and I know the proverb, but does your dog know the proverb?


4)
Doctor doctor I keep feeling, that I'm covered in gold pain. Don't worry, its just a gilt complain.

My husband is so simple he even takes a saddle and riding hat to bed with him in case of night mars.

What's the easiest way to get to heaven quickly? Stand in the fast lane of a motor way.
 

5)
A jet ran in to some turbulent weather. To keep passengers calm, the air hostess brought out the beverage carts.

"I'd like a soda " said the passenger in the front row. Moving along, the air hostess asked the man behind her if he would like something.

"yes I would," he replied. "give me whatever the pilot is drinking!".
 

6)
Malika sherawat ko airport custom par check karate huye puchha gaya madam iss tifin box main kya hain.

Malika sherawat: umm tang mat karo isme mere kapade hain.


7)
A Bihari went to a cigarette shop and asked for one Wills: Bhai ek Will dena, so the guy selling the cigarettes told him that there is no brand by the
name of Will, it is Wills, but the Bihari insisted and
said I want one Will, so the person told him unless
you say it correctly.

i.e Wills I won't sell it to you, so the Bihari went mad and said "Hum ek hi to maang rahen hain pura packet to nahin maang rahen hain".


8)
A jet ran in to some turbulent weather. To keep passengers calm, the air hostess brought out the beverage carts.

"I'd like a soda " said the passenger in the front row. Moving along, the air hostess asked the man behind her if he would like something.

"Yes I would," he replied. "Give me whatever the pilot is drinking!".


9)
The middle-aged woman was to get married and she went to a very big departmental store to have a lovely pair of pants.

What colour of pants must I have! I’ve got to get married to – morrow!’ ‘If it is the first marriage, wear purple; if second wear orange; if third wear blue; if fourth, green: if fifth, wear white.’

‘But supposing it is ninth?’ ‘Enquire next departmental store!’

 
10)
There was the 85 year old woman
who found her husband in bed with another woman.

She was so enraged that she dragged him to the balcony of their high-rise apartment and pushed him to his death.

When she appeared in court, the judge asked if she had anything to say in her own defense.

"Well Your Honor," she replied, "I figured if at 92 he he could make love, he could fly too."

- AsliMasti Jokes Archive (stuff@aslimasti.com)

AsliMasti

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